FCKHIM Column: Sex and a smaller City

A few weeks ago – after some long time boredom – I decided to watch my favorite show again, Sex and the City. I started at the long curly hair from season one, worked my way up to the straight hair-do, short curls and back to the long again. This was the show from HBO that hit the tv in 1998 and it hit hard. Watching the four girls going on dates with men and women in Manhattan was the most important thing to me at that time since I got my first LEGO set. Me and my friends were hooked. We compared ourselves, although we were twenty years younger. “You are so Charlotte”, Roxanne would say to Sophie. And in a way, we are those girls. Of course, we didn’t had the experience (yet). But we had the drama. And men. After seeing the show and movies again, something came to mind that I definitely missed during Sex and the City on the big screen. What happened to the Carrie sitting at her desk, typing on her laptop and lighting a cigarette in search for inspiration? The monologue of going through life, comparing hers to her friends and finding a fit that works best. It was always my favorite part. Maybe because of the fact that those were the times we actually saw Carrie working. Or maybe I needed the reflection as well. So… Why stop? As of now, there will be a weekly column on FCKHIM talking about life, relationships and sex. All stories are based upon true life. And I will do my best to write it in the way the show inspired me to trust in love. Because secretly, isn’t that what we all want?

I myself happen to be in a new relationship. A really great one, actually. And just for the fun of it, I will call him Mr. Big for future references. But even funnier fact: my Facebook status of ‘being in a relationship’ was the most liked status of all on my account. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy that people are happy for me. And I enjoyed it sharing it with my world. But the reactions got me thinking. There were almost if they we’re proud and relieved I was in a relationship. As if I belong to a certain club somehow. And I couldn’t help but wonder. Does being in a relationship means that you fit in society? Are singles to be believed as the weirder ones? Or is it truly survival of the fittest? Whereas couples have the power and if you are single… Well, that’s on you. A few days back I met up with my girl Valene. A strong, independent young woman I met in college. A girl that has a great drive and work ethics that will get her far whatever she wants to do. With being just out of a relationship, she has her own focus. And that is herself. “I am in my life right now where I want to do what I want to do,” as she drinks from her smoothie, “When I’m in a relationship, I start to focus on him, not me. It’s all about keeping us happy, making steps for us that keeps us going forward. Ergo; him, him, him.” As I listened I start to think about my relationship and that of others. “I don’t want that. I want to step in a relationship as equals. You have your things, I have mine. We respect that and support each other along the way.” The cappuccino was getting cold as I responded. “That’s lovely thinking, but relationships are also about compromise. Sometimes you simply have to give back, or give more for the person you love.” “True. But you don’t have to lose yourself along the way.” Is it true? Do we lose ourselves in relationships? Is that the way of becoming standardized to society? Think about it. There is no Singles Day, no Hallmark card that says ‘Single and Fabulous’. Yet there are tons of celebrations for finding the love of your life. Valentines Day, engagements, years you have been married, special hotel arrangements and so on and so on. I do believe that in a relationship, it’s about finding a fit that suits you. And I am happy to say that Mr. Big fits me perfectly. Pun intended. But still. When it comes to relationships, do we sometimes single ourselves out a bit too fast?

Style: Baseball Season

Today I wanted to share a wishlist of stuff that I want to buy for myself. But sadly, without any salary yet, they simply stay wishes and dreams… #sigh Hopefully, I’ll be able to buy at least one of the items below soon. Or maybe all of them, hehe. My eyes first fell on the Pinstripe Jersey Tee from American Apparel. A nice, comfortable tee that buttons up easily. Because it has a real baseball/MLB vibe, I decided to go all the way in this style update. A real sporty and comfortable look. Just the way I like it. ;) And comfortable goes perfectly with these Denim ‘Jogger’ Jeans from the new line of ZARA. I like the washed look of it, and the tricot cut on the end gives it a nice touch. Match it up with their White High-Top Sneakers, and you are almost good to go.

Almost, ’cause as a real baseball fan you have to show your love for your favorite team. I’m a big fan of the New York Yankees. Always have been, and I’m not even a New Yorker! But even when I was little, I stole the cap of my big brother with the famous NY logo on it. Aaaaahh, those were the days… So that’s why I wanted to wear a vintage cap. And found the perfect one on FANATICS.com, the webshop for all your clothing and accessories of your favorite MLB team. Only the hat section itself has more than 4000 choices, so find yours between these baseball hats, or scroll down and shop the look now!

Shop this look:
| Pinstripe Jersey Tee €46,00 – American Apparel | Jeans €49,95 – ZARA | White High-Top Sneaker €49,95 – ZARA | New Era Vintage NY Yankees Snapback €24,99 – Fanatics |

OOTD: October, 3rd 2014.

You know those times you feel like dressing up for no special occasion? Well, today is that day for me. Although I am meeting my girlfriends later on tonight for dinner and drinks. So that is something. I feel like we haven’t seen each other for ages… And we probably will be eating, laughing and drinking all night! #smileyface I am looking forward to it! Oh, and dressing up for me means wearing a shirt. I used to wear formal shirts quite often actually, but nowadays I’m more in the comfortable, casual mode. I mean. Wearing a shirt is nice, but after a day of tight wear I’ll gladly slip into my sweatpants and oversized tee… ;) But this is a nice change for once, isn’t it?

Finding the right, white crisp shirt can be quite difficult though. Mine comes from H&M, easy iron and slim fit. Perfect for a petite guy like me. And not that expensive either. I’ve had it for more than three years, and still very happy with it. I matched it up with my ZUMO pants and leather jacket. The color of the pants is perfect for this fall and the jacket brings more boldness to the look. Finishing it off with Sacha Shoes vintage boots and brown tie from H&M. See some more photos after the click and shop this look now!

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OOTD: October, 1st 2014.

Fun fact. Close friends know exactly what style suits you. A few days back I shopped with some friends of mine, and after seeing the new collection of ZARA in the stores there was one item that stood out. On different days with different friends they all gravitates towards a certain sweater, calling my name to find me on the other side of the building, yelling: “Gosh, this is REALLY a Martin-sweater!”. Well, after hearing that three times, there is only one thing you could do. Buy that sh*t.

They were completely right, though. I already knew about the sweater, but was trying to save some money. #ohwell It is a very well-balanced black sweatshirt from ZARA, made of 81% cotton and 19% of polyester that creates a very soft base. And of course, let’s not forget the partly synthetic leather sleeves with zippers. Yes, they do come off and it automatically creates a whole different look. This time I wore it quite casual and sporty. Matched it up with some Bershka jeans and cap from Sacha. But you can expect this sweater making a come back in a more chic outfit. ;) See some more photos after the click and shop this look now!

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